DRAMA

Oh my love...my independent clinger. I either smother you or I am not there when you NEED me- it is always a mystery. You did not nap well at all today and had another melt down about the bubbles. You are pushing so many things, BUT it is FINALLY clicking that you need to listen to me on the walks. I am SO thankful for that- you have no idea. I can't tell if you are sensing my anxiety and sadness and just feeding off of me or if you are going through a developmental stage. Between you stopping nursing and having my period my hormones are crazy and you are having to learn a new way to cope. Maybe it is just life, but I do know that dad and I will not be living apart after July for a VERY long time if ever again. You miss him, I am done with this experiment to see if i can do it on my own because I totally can. We went on a fine adventure today to the Safari Park and did a good job scouting it out. I am learning a lot about myself and about how to parent. I want to say that I am sorry for having you before I was ready (I realize that I was not that young, but I sure feel young), but maybe you will have some skills that other children don't have as we really grow together. I will always love you no matter what, but I have to be honest...there are some nights where I am putting you to bed and I just don't like you very much, but i look into your eyes and hold you tight as I love you very much and I know that I will miss you when you are sleeping at that tomorrow is a new day. As always I am so lucky to be your mom.